Do you get treated the way you want to be treated?
If you’re willing to teach people how to treat you.
Do you realize that you are constantly letting people know how you want to be treated?
When we speak up when something does not feel good to us we are teaching people how to treat us.
When we don’t speak up when something does not feel good we are teaching people how to treat us.
Dr. Maxine Carr, my co-facilitator, in a recent P3orlando.com seminar shared this story with one of our participants who was struggling to find his voice.
Maxine had recently remodeled her home. She had put a lot of work and money into the project and was quite proud of the results. She invited her father over to see her accomplishment. When he arrived she took him into the living room and began telling him about the new upgrades.
Her father looked around and said.
“Why did you use that type of molding, cherry wood would have looked better”. “The colors are just too bright, a lighter brown would be better”.
Without saying anything about her father comments, Maxine asked her dad to step back out front. They walked out the front door onto the porch. Maxine closed the door and this is what she said next.
“Dad, in a minute we’re going to walk back into the house. When we walk into the living room I am going to tell you all the new things I did and when I am done I want you to take a few seconds to look around, take it all in and then I want you to say, “Wow”!
“That’s it, just Wow”! She restated.
“Then I am going to take you into the kitchen and I am going to tell you what I did in there and when I am done I want you to look around for a few seconds and then I want you to say, “Wow”!
“Then we’ll move throughout the rest of my house and as we enter each room you look around for a few seconds and then I want you to say. “Wow”!
“Can you do that?” she asked him.
“I don’t know”, he replied sarcastically.
Without buying into his sarcastic response and staying focused on her goal, she went on.
“Well let’s practice then”, she said to him.
“Practice?” he asked inquisitively.
“Yes practice”, she quickly added.
“Say Wow!” She said.
“Wow” he responded half-halfheartedly.
“Okay”, she said, “now say it like this, Wow!” she said again more excitedly.
“Wow”! He replied matching her level of excitement.
“Great you got it”, she encouraged him.
She opened the front door and they walked back inside
Maxine stated again with all that she had done to upgrade the living room. Her father stood there looked around for a few seconds and said “wow!” Maxine smiled.
Then they walked into the kitchen. Maxine shared about the remolding she had done in the kitchen. Her father looked around and after a few seconds said, “Wow!” Maxine smiled again.
By the time they got to the hallway between the kitchen and the bedroom her father had gone from simply saying wow to adding comments of praise and encouragement
He got it because Maxine was willing to speak up and teach her father how she wanted to be treated.
You can teach the people in your life how you want to be treated. It take courage. It takes owning you voice.