Not getting want you want? Move away from Blame & Victim

  I recently found myself acting as a victim and I definitely had someone to blame. This person wasn't treating me right. They weren't treating me way I wanted to be treated and I deserved to be treated right. As a result of being treated, in my mind, so wrongly, I made a decision.  I wasn't going to continue the relationship. Why should I stick around when I wasn't being treated right? While I was stewing over this and using my energy to build my case against this other person a saying popped in to my head. It is a saying that I share with participants in my seminars. It goes like this: We teach people how to treat us. Thinking about that saying caused me to pause, reflect and then…
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Make It Happen

Make Your Goals and Dreams Happen In our workshops we take the time to have participants write down a goal and a dream. We define a goal as a "what by when" with these attributes: Specific Measurable Time limited We define a Dream as something you envision yourself doing with your life. That makes you jump out of bed in the morning with excitement and makes you feel whole when you are doing it. Goals are the steps to reaching your dream. Participants write their goal and dream on a piece of flip-chart paper that they later present to the whole class. When participants return home they hang the goal and dream flip-chart paper on their bedroom door. One of the first things they see each day is their goal…
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Ignite Your Passion

Ignite Your Passion

In a recent coaching session a client shared with me her passion, it was something that she’d love to be doing. Yet she wasn’t taking the steps to pursue that passion. She said some day she would when she had the time. I challenged her. What if wasn’t because of time what if it was because of something else? That question took us to many interesting places but through it all she came to realize that it wasn’t a time issue at all. The real reason she hadn’t begun pursuing her passion was because she was afraid. She told me she had a lot to be afraid of. Could she earn a living at it? What would people say if she was doing that? What if she wasn’t any good…
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Digging Deeper Into I’m Sorry

During a recent conversation with my wife, Mara, I began to notice that it getting tense. As we continued talking I had a sense that for some reason she was angry with me. We’ve been married for twenty-five years so I’ve gotten pretty good at knowing when something is not right. The tension confused me because I had done a whole slew of things that morning to be helpful; made us breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, watered the plants, fed the dogs, and offered to drive the four hour trip to Denver we were taking later that day. I felt like I had been quit helpful and I didn’t know what was up. I asked her, “is something the matter?” “I didn't feel well this morning” she said. "I'm sorry”…
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How Are You Being Treated?

Do you get treated the way you want to be treated? You can. If you’re willing to teach people how to treat you. Do you realize that you are constantly letting people know how you want to be treated? When we speak up when something does not feel good to us we are teaching people how to treat us. When we don't speak up when something does not feel good we are teaching people how to treat us. Dr. Maxine Carr, my co-facilitator, in a recent P3orlando.com seminar shared this story with one of our participants who was struggling to find his voice. Maxine had recently remodeled her home. She had put a lot of work and money into the project and was quite proud of the results. She invited…
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